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davidfcooperThe Israelis and Arabs finally realized that if they continued
fighting, they would someday end up destroying the world.
So they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with a
dogfight. The negotiators agreed that each country would take five
years to develop the best fighting dog they could. The dog that won
the fight would earn its country the right to rule the disputed areas.
The losing side would have to lay down its arms.
The Arabs found the biggest, meanest Dobermans and Rottweilers in the
world. They bred them together and then crossed their offspring with
the meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest, strongest
puppy from each litter, fed them the best food and killed all the
other puppies. They used steroids and trainers in their quest for the
perfect killing machine.
After the five years were up, they had a dog that needed iron prison
bars on its cage. Only the trainers could handle this beast.
When the day of the big fight arrived, the Israelis showed up with a
strange animal. It was a nine-foot-long Dachshund.
Everyone felt sorry for the Israelis. No one else thought this weird
animal stood a chance against the growling beast in the Arab camp. The
bookies predicted the Arabs would win in less than a minute.
The cages were opened. The Dachshund waddled toward the center of the ring.
The Arab dog leaped from his cage and charged the giant wiener-dog.
As he got to within an inch of the Israeli dog, the Dachshund opened
its jaws and swallowed the Arab beast in one bite. There was nothing
left but a small bit of fur from the killer
dog's tail.
The Arabs approached the Israelis, shaking their heads in disbelief.
'We do not understand,' said their leader, 'Our top scientists and
breeders worked for five years with the meanest, biggest Dobermans and
Rottweilers. They developed a killing machine.'
'Really?' the Israeli General replied. 'For five years, we've had a
team of Jewish plastic surgeons in Beverly Hills working to make an
alligator look like a Dachshund.'
fighting, they would someday end up destroying the world.
So they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with a
dogfight. The negotiators agreed that each country would take five
years to develop the best fighting dog they could. The dog that won
the fight would earn its country the right to rule the disputed areas.
The losing side would have to lay down its arms.
The Arabs found the biggest, meanest Dobermans and Rottweilers in the
world. They bred them together and then crossed their offspring with
the meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest, strongest
puppy from each litter, fed them the best food and killed all the
other puppies. They used steroids and trainers in their quest for the
perfect killing machine.
After the five years were up, they had a dog that needed iron prison
bars on its cage. Only the trainers could handle this beast.
When the day of the big fight arrived, the Israelis showed up with a
strange animal. It was a nine-foot-long Dachshund.
Everyone felt sorry for the Israelis. No one else thought this weird
animal stood a chance against the growling beast in the Arab camp. The
bookies predicted the Arabs would win in less than a minute.
The cages were opened. The Dachshund waddled toward the center of the ring.
The Arab dog leaped from his cage and charged the giant wiener-dog.
As he got to within an inch of the Israeli dog, the Dachshund opened
its jaws and swallowed the Arab beast in one bite. There was nothing
left but a small bit of fur from the killer
dog's tail.
The Arabs approached the Israelis, shaking their heads in disbelief.
'We do not understand,' said their leader, 'Our top scientists and
breeders worked for five years with the meanest, biggest Dobermans and
Rottweilers. They developed a killing machine.'
'Really?' the Israeli General replied. 'For five years, we've had a
team of Jewish plastic surgeons in Beverly Hills working to make an
alligator look like a Dachshund.'
