davidfcooper

Bill Maher's closing--an
open message to George Bush:

"Mr. President, this job can't be fun for you any
more. There's no more money to spend--you used up all
of that. You can't start another war because you used
up the army. And now, darn the luck, the rest of your
term has become the Bush family nightmare: helping poor
people. Listen to your Mom. The cupboard's bare, the
credit cards maxed out. No one's speaking to you.
Mission accomplished.

"Now it's time to do what you've always done
best: lose interest and walk away. Like you did with
your military service and the oil company and the
baseball team. It's time. Time to move on and try the
next fantasy job. How about cowboy or space man? Now
I know what you're saying: there's so many
other things that you as President could involve
yourself in. Please don't. I know, I know. There's a
lot left to do. There's a war with Venezuela.
Eliminating the sales tax on yachts. Turning the
space program over to the church. And Social Security
to Fannie Mae. Giving embryos the vote.

"But, Sir, none of that is going to happen now.
Why? Because you govern like Billy Joel drives.
You've performed so poorly I'm surprised that you
haven't given yourself a medal. You're a catastrophe
that walks like a man. Herbert Hoover was a shitty
president, but even he never conceded an entire city
to rising water and snakes.

"On your watch, we've lost almost all of our
allies, the surplus, four airliners, two trade
centers, a piece of the Pentagon and the City of New
Orleans. Maybe you're just not lucky. I'm not saying
you don't love this country. I'm just wondering how
much worse it could be if you were on the other side.

"So, yes, God does speak to you. What he is
saying is: 'Take a hint.' "