Decoding Personal Ads (offensive and insensitive) -- Thanks to <lj site="livejournal.com" user="luck

[davidfcooper]

Dictionary for Decoding Women's Personal Ads:

40-ish ....................... 49.
Adventurous .............. Slept with everyone.
Athletic ...................... No breasts
Average looking .......... Moooo.
Beautiful .................... Pathological liar.
Emotionally Secure ... On medication.
Feminist .................... Fat
Free spirit ................. Junkie
Friendship first .......... Former slut.
New-Age ................... Body hair in the wrong places.
Old-Fashioned .......... No BJs.
Open-minded ............. Desperate
Outgoing .................. Loud and Embarrassing.
Professional .............. Bitch
Voluptuous ................ Very Fat
Hugh frame ............... Hugely Fat
Wants soul mate ....... Stalker


Turnabout is fair play

Dictionary for Decoding MEN'S Personal Ads:

Distinguished ...............Way over 60
Adventurous .................Gambling problem
Athletic Build............... Short and fat
Average looking .......... Short, fat, and bald
Romantic..................... Pathological liar
Emotionally Secure ........Commitment-phobe
Liberal........................ Cheated on his first wife
Free spirit ................. Alcoholic
Friendship first .......... No relationship, just sex
New-Age ................... Doesn't believe in deodorant
Old-Fashioned .......... Still lives with his mother
Open-minded ............. Wants a three-way
Outgoing .................. Has his poker buddies over every night
Professional .............. In debt up to his eyeballs
Serious......................Tightwad
Wants soul mate ........ Needs housekeeper

Comments

[scarletdemon.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha! God, I wrote something about this once...
Oh! here it is! http://scarletdemon.livejournal.com/80408.html

[ragecarnuu.livejournal.com]

Haha, Those are good.

[luckycee.livejournal.com]

I made up that second list myself!

That'll be $500 please.

[davidfcooper.livejournal.com]

I've edited the subject line to acknowledge the source.

[luckycee.livejournal.com]

I'm too easily appeased.

[davidfcooper.livejournal.com]

lucky for me ;)

[laffinman.livejournal.com]

....aw crap....our secret's out......luckily we've still got stalking to fall back on.