boobies and willies

[davidfcooper]

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father,

"Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?

The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there's three kinds
of
breasts. In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons,
round and
firm.
In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but
hanging a
bit.
After sixty they are like onions."

"Onions?"

"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum,
how
many kinds of 'willies' are there?"

The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes
through
three phases. In his twenties, his willy is like an oak tree,
mighty and
hard. In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible but
reliable.
After his
fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."

"A Christmas tree?"

"Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration
only."